Clark Gable & Lady Sylvia Ashley, 1950
“It’s May. It’s May. The lusty month of May!” –Queen Guinevere in Camelot
On this last day of the month, I can honestly say that was not remotely my experience. More like “May day!!” as in, “Our ship’s in trouble!!” A persistently thick marine layer that Santa Barbarans refer to as “May gray” blanketed our days and Mercury went retrograde on the 19th. Then we had the devastating Gaviota oil spill. Besides breaking my heart, it took the lives of wildlife in a four-mile swath along the coast and polluted our paradise irreparably.
In addition to a nice visit with my family in Virginia, I got the flu—twice—and spent the entire month running at break neck speed from dawn til dusk trying to accomplish my so called life, juggling six jobs. I’ve been running on sheer will. And I wrapped up a five-times-through editing job of Silky, over a year in the making. I met the deadline and got my manuscript to the interested agent–on time. Now I’m comatose. I feel like I’ve lived “two, two, two [months] in one” as the old breath mint ad goes.
I should feel some relief about completing Silky, but I’m still waiting for that sensation. I’ve had a book on my nightstand for six months in anticipation of this milestone. My reward for completion: to spend time idly reading a book from cover to cover for the sheer pleasure of it. That sounds like heaven. Poolside, you say? Even better (if the sun ever comes out again). But June is already booked with commitments. Perhaps July…
Every time I try to pare down and simplify, something comes up. Whether it’s helping out at my friends’ shop for their Memorial weekend sale, counseling a friend about his aging mother or helping with another friend’s brother’s memorial, it just isn’t appropriate to say, “Sorry, I’m too tired.” Especially when others have been so generous with me. So, how to find balance?
This particular month also marks the anniversary of my blog. Three years ago on May first, I began my posts about the illustrious “Silky” to further ruminate on her glamorous life and my journey to find her. I have learned so much more about her, and myself. What an adventure it’s been!