“I’m wishing for the one I love to find me…today.”
~Snow White, singing into the wishing well
As Valentine’s Day looms, I am reminded of just how single I am. I try not to get too hooked by what I consider a mainstream “amateur night” (the other being Halloween). Rather than playing the victim or feeling sorry for myself about it, I’ve come to realize it is my own choice. Neither of the last two relationships that came my way are what I’m looking for. Someone logistically unavailable and someone emotional unavailable are definitely not what I’m after. Let’s just take “unavailable” off the table completely, shall we?
I used to think that making an exact grocery list of the traits and qualities one was looking for in a mate was limiting. I prided myself that hair color and particular hobbies were unimportant so long as my future intended had a strong moral compass, a high level of integrity, a good sense of humor, was attractive and attracted to me. But I can see now where being more specific is about getting unblocked.
As I get clearer, I realize that my ambiguity leaves me open to settling for whatever comes along. No wonder it’s not working! How can the Universe give me what I want if I myself am vague and undecided about it? I need to take responsibility for creating my romantic reality–or lack thereof. It’s time to get a serious backbone about my love-life. Happy fucking Valentine’s day!